This Is My Fine Art

My father pisses me off so badly at times. They wonder why I spend half my life at Patrick's place. And then I'll come back to the house to hear him talking to my mother like she's a stupid idiot and she looks like she's about the cry. I just got finished chewing him out. I told him he sounded hateful and he really loved her he wouldn't talk to her like that. Can he not see how badly he hurts her? And it doesn't help that my mother has be exceptionally tender hearted as of late.

Believe me, if you met my mother, you'd love her. She's one of those people who selflessly does things for others no matter how much pain it causes her. I already almost lost her once. I don't want to lose her because of my father stressing her out to the point that she has another heart attack. I do not want to go through that again.

I swear... if she dies because of him, I'm moving out of this house whether he agrees with me living with Patrick or not. And I'll probably never speak to him again.

My mother, I've been worrying about her. She's always crying recently. She keeps speaking of how she doesn't know how much more time she has on this earth. That depresses the hell out of me. I'm really worried about her. I know something more is wrong, but she won't talk about it. The doctor said she needed to slow down because she wasn't helping her heart heal. She's been too stressed.

I need to say, that I didn't yell at my dad until after mother left the house. All she wanted to do was go see grandma and grandpa because she hadn't been there in a while. She wanted to know what dad's plans were for the day and he wasn't exactly being clear, so she kept asking questions and he suddenly out of no where got hostile. I hate it... I hate it so much, you just don't know.

My father isn't a physical abuser, but he is a verbal abuser. I've always felt that the emotional wounds hurt worse. They linger with you for years. At least physical injuries can heal. You know what was really sad about it? I could hear mom as she said "I thought we were supposed to love each other and talk kindly to each other." She says it so sadly, though.

Ah, I'm a head of myself. I have new watchers here and many of you don't know my situation. I'm twenty-three years old, and I still technically live at home. I say technically because half the time I'm with my parents and the other half of my time I'm staying at Patrick's place. lol Patrick gets charged $15 a month extra because of me. XD Now, I know some of you are thinking, "Why don't you just move in with Patrick? You're already practically married!"

Well, it has to do with the fact that it would kill my mother. Patrick and I are not yet married and she wants us to be married. She keeps saying she hopes she lives long enough to see our children. But due to us being Christian it is highly frowned upon for two people to live together unmarried. Of course, I'm not getting into that, though. Just understand that's how it is viewed in my house. Don't try to reason with it. My parents and their views will not change.

My mother stresses enough on her own. I'm staying home until I can afford my own place or until Patrick and I get married.

Heh... something even funnier, my brother is in a similar boat except he's 41. 8D Our parents just can't get rid of us it seems. XD

Well, I'm feeling better after that rant. Sorry to make your ears bleed. =)

--Destinie